I remember being about 12 years old and spending time at my friends pig farm out in Friend, Nebraska. We dressed up in these long dresses and were re-enacting scenes from Anne of Green Gables. We rode bikes down gravel roads and found a pond to swim in. I went into the pond first and I sunk up to my ankles in the mud. As I tried to turn around to get out of the pond I went from laughing over the situation to beginning stage of fear. I was sinking fast and at mid-calf down in the mud I panicked. My friend was standing on the shore only a few feet away from me. She was laughing and laughing at me or the situation. I couldn't move in the mud. It was slow and hard and I was scared. I remember crying. They weren't wailing tears, but tears filled with determination that I was getting out of there. I didn't want to be alone in that pond while she went for help! I don't remember much of anything else, except pushing my bike back to her house, because my legs were too sore!
"I'm neck deep." A friend, who is also a mother of four, shared this line with me this week. It accurately describes where I am at these days as a mother. Motherhood is the pond. A pretty little pool of water in the middle of a great expanse of open fields. It sits out there all alone in random places. You expect pond water to be dirty. There aren't too many stories of crystal clear ponds! You don't know if swimming in the pond will be refreshing, you enter with the uncertainty of what you might encounter, you don't know if you will sink a little or a lot. Will you have friends on the side of the pond laughing with you, encouraging you when you hit that panic moment, running for help when you need it? Motherhood is like the pond! Some seasons we will only have mud stuck between our toes and other times we will be stuck in mud so deep we are set into a tailspin of fear.
I have learned in the last 'almost' 9 years of being a mother, that I want to be the friend that is encouraging my friends with what I know they need to hear when they are stuck in the mud. As women we have the power to make another woman feel like she can conquer her fears. On the flip side, it doesn't take much to make her feel like she is doing everything wrong in her quest to get out of the mud.
The rewards of motherhood is painfully slow. I comment often that the weeks and years go too fast. But, the reward of my labor is so far away it makes it hard to not give up. It makes the weeks where I'm 'neck deep' in the mud feel so heavy that the life is taken out of me...I'm too tired to ride my bike home!
Even if my friend would have gone for help when I was stuck in that muddy pond, I'm sure I would have had to get out of that pond on my own. Maybe someone would have laid down a board, but I would have still had to get my feet and legs out of the mud and stepped up.
God knows the future of each of my children. He also chose me to be their mother. He picked this family for each of them. So, when the mud is up to my neck, I can hear the voice of God reminding me of these things. I can shed tears, but that inner stubborn determination that God gave me, well it comes pouring up. It is a slow process, but I will get out!
Then I will look back and remember brief moments from being stuck, but as with every situation we are given in life...I will use it to learn. I will share it as an encouragement to other mothers. Or what I'm finding as I've gotten older, is my past situations are my own personal encouragement. Remember the past so we don't repeat our mistakes in the future! Learn from our past. Remember how God protected, provided, gave, brought me through so many things in the past fifteen to twenty years. Then use the past to propel you forward!
I found a quote on a wall hanging from Hobby Lobby. The fact it is one of those popular chalk drawings in the way it is written just meant I HAD to have it! The quote is exactly what everyone one of needs to see hanging in our kitchen...
"because when you stop and look around this life is pretty amazing"
Now, to get this line deep into the core of each of my children! Slow process, but big reward!
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| Schram State Park |
I've been so busy this summer I haven't sat down to write down anything. It's a whirlwind of mixed feelings over the summer being over. My first summer where I didn't watch the clock in the evening. I was relaxed about sleepovers and friends over and watching movies on the couch until 10pm. Even Austin got in on some super late bedtimes. It started to take a toll on him and I slowly started making sure he had lights out by 9pm! I didn't fret over what to make for dinner. I rolled out of bed between 7:30-8:00am, depending on how long I could keep Austin from ripping the covers off me. Heidi might feel the effects of School starting in the morning, little thing doesn't get up until almost 9am! We practically lived in our swimsuits this summer. I added a curling wand to my life or I should say to my hair! After 4 years of short straight hair I'm switching it up and gotten crazy with curls, waves, and a ponytail! I can finally wear a ponytail without 5 bobbi pins! Don is very excited about my hair getting longer!
We made it to the Lincoln Zoo, the Wildlife Safari, and a few trips to my Grandma's house. Other than that we took two great trips! I don't care that we didn't do much, because we played...alot! We rode our bikes to Godfather's for pizza, stopped at the Park and then headed home. We rode our bikes to Plum Creek Park so many times that Austin hollers "sand park" when we go that direction.
Most of our days were spent next to the pool. Heidi loves the water so much she screams and cries when I go outside and don't take her into the pool area. She wants to go underwater. Austin is my other fish. Loves to wear goggles, it sounds like "mcdonalds" when he ask me to put them on! He flings himself backwards, runs and jumps off the side, does twist off the board, and has even asked to go swimming while I lay in bed in the mornings! He figured out how to open the gate to the pool area, which is terrifying! However, he wants nothing to do with the water without having his life jacket on. He also won't go near the slide!
Grant mastered Level 4 in Swimming lessons. He expressed such an interest in the Dive Squad that I finally relented and called to find out information. Who knows where it will take him, but his Momma called. I'm up for new adventures! His hair turned almost white blonde this summer. He grew probably an inch and reminded me what a little boy he still is as he cries over so many little things! I try not to expect too much from Grant because he is older. It is just that I love soaking up Austin's toddlerhood. I get lost in the little boy Austin is and I expect Grant to behave or react better. He is such a 'fair' child and this summer was spent with me explaining so much of Austin's behavior, "Austin doesn't know that when he wacks you with the stick that it will hurt you!" Austin figures that after he has done it! "Grant, you know what will happen."
Molly had the social calendar of a teenager this summer! Dance, sleepovers, dance, playmates, tennis, friends over to swim, piano, dance, and staying up late, getting up early, dance! She loves life. She loves to be active, involved, busy, hanging out with me, watching TV with her Dad, swimming with Grant, cuddling Austin, or trying to get Heidi to walk. I won't miss her 'on-call' dance schedule this summer, but I will miss having her sweet friends coming and going during the day. Austin might ask for Holly or Jayna after School starts!
Our summer was exactly what I believe summers are meant to be...memory making!
