Summer Break-7am to Noon on Day 1

Outside it is a beautiful 65 degrees, the Nebraska wind is blowing, the sun arrived by lunch, and the birds are chirping. Inside it is a bipolar scene of chaos and octave levels that require ear protection, to instant silence that only lingers for minutes, then the shrill scream of a toddler begins the monotony over again!
It is the first day of Summer Break for us. Everything I expected my "break" to be has already shown itself and it just rolled 12 o'clock, noon! Molly asked at 7:15am what the plan was for the day. Told me she didn't want to just sit around all day. Suggested the Children's Museum in Lincoln. ("Oh, Okay, that sounds easy") ~insert sarcasm into all my parentheses.

The teacher sent the kids home with "summer homework" packets.
Molly has completed her packet on Day 1

Austin screaming over every little thing the older two do or don't do is just a part of my life. Austin screaming all morning at them and then shouting "No" at me had me popping him in the mouth, which caused him to scream "No mouth, No mouth. Hit butt, hit butt." this had Molly and Grant laughing out loud, which caused Austin to scream louder. (getting Austin's shouting under control this summer should be a breeze). 

I had to make a phone call to the Nebraska Furniture Mart. I told the kids, "I'm making a call, so no interrupting or screaming." Molly, "how long will you be on the call?" (let me just write down all the details of my call for you, my little planner)! I was finalizing all the paperwork and checks writing needed for the kid's summer activities. I asked Grant if he wanted to do the Basketball Camp? "Is it overnight?" "No" "Is it all playing basketball?" me, "a little, but most is learning how to play the game." "I know how to play. I just want to play games." ~sidenote; our biggest challenge with Grant is receiving instruction. He thinks he already has everything figured out.~Me, "your seven, there is a lot about basketball you don't know. You're going to this camp and your going to remember that you don't know that much about basketball, you are seven!" He looks at me like I'm smoking crack, cause he is seven and has learned everything about basketball! 

Teaching Austin the moves to a song from the movie "Ice Age Continental Drift"
Austin isn't wearing pants/underwear!

I got dressed and had 3 kids in the closet with me. Molly is my shadow. She must know everything down to the color of underwear I'm wearing! I lost my cool when Grant grabbed Molly by the leg, yanked it towards her head, she went psycho girl on him and smacked him, he lied and said she told him she wanted to wrestle (I'm sure she suggested wrestling as a way to pass the time), and I sent them both to their rooms for 30 minutes. Quiet for 30 minutes...nope, Austin needed a bath. He is all boy when it comes to getting clean...screams, runs for whatever closet he can hide in, when I find him and get him in the tub he is screaming, grabs a cup of water and throws it, causing me and the floor to get very wet, Heidi observes from the side of tub and is left dry, dressing Austin in anything other than pajamas is like WWIII. Most times I don't fight battles like this one, but today I just wanted to feel like I could win one of them! So, I dressed him in actual clothes...listened to him scream and try to get his shirt off. Then before lunch he took his pants off, cause thats all he can do by himself!

School is on her mind as she asked me to write down Math problems for her!

 I stopped and hugged Molly this morning. Squeezed her and told her it felt good to be hugging her and not hollering, "hurry up and get dressed, it is time to load up, Grant have you eaten breakfast!" I get an entire 3 months to stop my kids during the day and hug them, tell them I love them, then go crazy Mom on them! 
"I love the last day of school as much as I love the first day!" ~Quote by "A Crazy Mom"

I mentioned in my last post that we bought Heidi a new house for her 1st Birthday! The building process is complete! As with every new home there is still work to be done, in terms of the foundation (it is very crooked) and the height issue...the kitchen counters are a little high!

Someone call Dad. The water isn't working.

I think she is annoyed that the boys are in her new house.

My Baby is 1

It doesn't happen very often. Actually, it rarely happens... I do something I really don't want to do, because someone else wants me to do it! It seems that when it does happen something good always comes from it. Funny how that works! 
I don't want Heidi to forever hear how her Momma didn't want four babies, cause she might think she wasn't wanted! Which is hardly the case. What I do want her hear is how amazing things can happen when we surrender our own desires/wants....like the blessing of Heidi Mae! 

 

She wants to be close to me 24/7, but she adores her Dad.
She kicks her feet in excitement when she sees him, puts her arms out and gives him some snuggles.
Then usually cries for me after a couple minutes!

 She was that newborn that I never thought really existed. Sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, content, easy, always happy, quiet, watchful.  I started thinking that maybe God sent us a "laid back" member of the Family. No one in our household is accommodating, go with the flow, "yes" type of people. Everyone has an opinion, resistance, questions everything, and some are louder about it then others! At 9 months she started to show me that she was not switched at birth, her personality started to fall into line with the rest of the Family! I remember feeding her and she was screaming and swatting the spoon when I put it to her mouth. I switched to a veggie I knew she liked and she ate it perfectly. 

We bought her a house for her 1st Birthday!
I know it might be hard to top this gift.
It might take 6-10 months to build, so I will follow-up with pictures after her Dad finishes building it!

She takes off on a quick crawl when she hears the piano being played!

I'm sure it's typical for a 4th child to have to make sacrifices for the social calendar of everyone else in the family. With the jam packed events of the weekend, our Heidi got to celebrate her Birthday the night before the day she was born! Our little bumblebee felt the way many 1 year olds feel on their Birthday...confused, overwhelmed, annoyed, and tired!

I'm officially one of those women who takes pictures of her party decor
and then blogs about it! Hey, maybe I will get "pinned!"
*I don't have any freebie printouts

Why is my highchair outside? And what are these big things tied to it? 

Heidi is learning all sorts of things from Austin. Eating habits is one of them. Why eat something if you can holler about it, or throw it off the tray, and they give you something else!?! She wings everything she doesn't want, so be careful if you're too close!

Intrigued by all the faces staring at her as we sing Happy Birthday!

Confusion over this glowing thing in front of her.
Brother to the rescue!

She stuck her finger in it. Got this look on her face and flung it...you can see a small
glimpse of a flying cupcake on the left side of picture!

"I don't want it!! Why are you giving it back to me?!!?!!"
Notice the pile of frosting on the floor!

"Now this I recognize.... Cleaning up with paper towels!"

Leave it to Kim to introduce her to the frosting!

By this point she is very unhappy with us!
"why are they forcing me to eat this thing? I don't want it!"

Present Time!
She surprised us by ripping paper off a few of the presents Austin didn't take over.
Her little head is hidden behind a gift bag!

Feeding her baby!

Feeding her self!

We share similar taste!
Her favorite gift was also my favorite gift!
A Pram from Mommy's best friends!

Our little bumblebee

 A few more party pics....

Aunt Chryssi

They had to wait until party festivities were over before they could swim!!!

 We are going to love having Birthday parties for our late Spring baby, swimming pool! The birthday girl doesn't like the water yet. Actually she cried that scared cry when she observed Don and the kids in the water! She went to bed and the party continued with the bigger kids swimming!

They look cold, cause the water IS cold!

Austin insisting that Koco get back in the water!

I'm pretty emotional about my baby turning one. I was selfishly wanting her all to myself at the party. Just soak her up as she opened presents and threw the cupcake. Not that I didn't want others around me to help celebrate this milestone, but I didn't want to be a mother to anyone else but Heidi! She will never know what it is like to have her mother all to herself. But, I know what I'm missing when I'm trying to get Austin to share Heidi's new toys with Heidi or dealing with my older children screaming that I turn on the pool slide. I'm missing all the "little" moments with my last born. I'm not fully in the moment of all the "last." I wish I could be a Michelle Duggar and just float to a cloud of peaceful aura. Remind myself that I did and do enjoy so many little moments and I am savoring all the "last." 
Heidi is one special baby in a special family that I am especially blessed to call my own! As for all the special moments this year has held with Heidi...well, that I save for her 1 year photo book, full of all my emotional memories of the first year with Heidi Mae!
Happy 1st Birthday sweet baby!

Bar Set High

Mother's have impact like no other person. The responsibilities go beyond laundry, dishes, and diapers. It has become more obvious that my role is much bigger than the chore list. As my kids have gotten older I'm seeing how my actions and words are soaked up like a sponge. They expect much of me. Whether it is the comfort of my arms when they fall down, the singing of my voice when they can't sleep, the legs they hide in when they are scared, the desperation on their face when they want me to rescue them from their consequences.  I am expected to be there, take care, and always know what to do!
I felt all these same things about my own mother. As an adult I have come to realize that mother's are normal people! We make mistakes, we get lazy, we loose our cool, we get exhausted, we don't want to always have the bar set so high. It is the price we pay for the unconditional love that comes from our children. My kids may not like me someday. But, they will always love me! I have a place in their heart that no one else will ever have. 
Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mother's I get to do life with. I am always reminded that I do not have a bar sitting high alone, but surrounded by many many others!

I'm not old, I just "feel" old

I'm feeling my age, at least that is what I'm blaming it on! I don't think I'm "old." I actually love being in my 30's. It is everything I thought it would be. The challenge in my 20's was figuring out the "realities" of life. Thinking I knew what "stress" was in High School and then realizing that was nothing! The 20's is about getting used to the real world. I wouldn't want to go back to my 20's. I'd like my 22 year old legs, but that's about it! My 30's...I'm just having to get used to a body that is getting older.
I ran the Lincoln Half Marathon on Sunday. My 4th Half Marathon. My first since having the last 2 babies. I ran it faster than I did 5 years ago! For that I'm pretty proud of myself. I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to running the next one! However, three days after running it, my body is exhausted, to the core exhausted. It might have something to do with how full the day was...up at 12:30am with a sick 2 year old, up again at 5am, race at 7am, home by 10:30am, out the door by 12:30, dance concert at 2pm, helping Molly change 3x (in the basement at Burke High School), dinner with my bf, Sunday night television with my hubby, in bed at 10pm. Monday at 4am I was awakened by a sick 2 year old. I was a walking zombie on Monday. I had no appetite. My legs hurt, but it wasn't too bad. Today, I'm still without an appetite, my lungs ache, my body telling me to just sit on the couch!
I'm feeling my age with this race recovery!

Molly loves these two girls

Watching the 'older' girls rehearse

She loves to dance!
I've grown to love watching dance!

I like to look back on running over the years. A couple reasons:
1. I am still surprised I found a "sport" I enjoy. And I'm reminded that just because you weren't an athlete or anything else for that matter in High School doesn't mean your ever to old to find something your good at.
and
2. I have been given so many gifts through my running. 
    ~Friendships
I was and still am friends with Jessica. She ran a half marathon 6 months after having baby #2. It filled something in her at the time, when she needed it the most. I was inspired watching her at the finish line and watching Don finish behind her a Full Marathon. Then Don goes onto to run another race in Arizona and he says to me "that would be a good race for you." That was all I needed to hear. I had the security I needed to say I want to try it. Get Jessica on board to train with me and she starts pestering Kim. The only reason Kim said "yes" is because God wanted her to run with us. (we didn't know that at the time!). I recall Jessica having to really bug her and Jessica isn't someone who bugs. 
I would not have the friendship with those two that is at the level it is if we hadn't ran together! They are like sisters to me. We all ran together about a year and Kim said "never again." Jessica does it to curb the guilt over eating a cupcake. The foundation of friendship was established over those 6am runs through Gretna. Annoyance over someone having an attitude or complaining or pushing each other to finish. Them not being morning people, but showing up because it was most convenient for me. There is nothing like finishing your first race! I'm pretty sure I'll never forget it. I'm glad I got to share it with these two.

Then another friendship came about three years later. I had to go to India and sit next to her for 18 hours on 4 different airplanes to get to know her. We figured out we both like to run. The long days of being at an orphanage had us burning energy in the hallways and stairwells of our Combiatore Hotel. I still can't believe we ran with the aroma of Hindu incense surrounding us! God gave me a friendship that isn't based on our kids, or husbands, or the history we shared in School. 

Just good 'ole "enjoying each other." 

This was my 2nd Race with Susie

Mile 11 and we are smiling!
This is probably what I love about running with her...we keep it positive. When one of us isn't positive we call the other out on it and there isn't annoyance there is just positivity!

~Random acts of kindness
I didn't think I'd be able to run this Spring. Don leaves at 5:30am six mornings a week, long days with kids, and exhaustion in the evenings. Running is my escape. My only place to find solitude. The only long stretch I get to clear my head, refuel, soak in God's blessings, and overwhelm myself with thankfulness for all I have been given. I started thinking it wasn't my season to run. Who am I kidding, I have four demanding kids and a husband who works long hours. A week after I thought in my head, "I'm going to stop running for the next couple years," a longtime friend stopped by my house to drop something off. She was headed to the gym. She shared how she hates running, but does a little bit on the treadmill to keep her heart healthy. I started sharing how I was probably going to have to give up running. She leaves my house and 2 days later I get a message from her. Simply put, "God is telling me to help you run. I'm glad he isn't telling me to run! We will talk about your schedule when you get home from Colorado." I immediately burst into tears. Austin was sitting next to me and says, "Mommy? Mommy cry?" Tears of joy little man, Mommy is happy, overwhelmed, overcome with God's goodness. My friend Kris came over two mornings a week for more than two months so I could run. Austin calls her "krissy." He loved the routine of having a playmate for a short amount of time while "Mommy run." 
Life is so much better when we stop saying God doesn't do anything for me and we start noticing the little things He gives us. They are everywhere, everyday, and in all things. We just have to train our thoughts to take notice.  

The day after my race the kids had their annual "Torch Run" at School.
My ambitious Molly ran 3 miles!!!!!
Poor thing is suffering from the same thing as her Mom...sore legs, exhaustion, no appetite!
I am so proud of her!

13 miles of running has nothing on the challenge of this group!
I am so in love with each one of them

Some Mom Moments

Life has been full, crazy, nonstop, overwhelmingly busy. 
~Future warning: When your kids enter School the last weeks of April and the month of May are crazier then the Christmas season.

 Outside of the very full calendar, we have the "normal" life happening when you have 4 kids. Potty training was a success the first week.  Austin was doing both #1 and #2 on the toilet. I felt like a could write a book about potty training. I could get a check mark on the the list of "what makes you a great mother." Then week #2 happened and #2 went from toilet to pants or the School playground if that's where your at! Fell right out of his shorts and in a pile under the slide. Don scooped it up with mulch and we stuck it in a diaper. Cleaned Austin up with wipes, stuck the "just in case" pants on him from the car, and he went back to playing! When I stick him on the toilet to clean him off, he says, "Yay! Good Job!" No Austin, you didn't poop in the potty. This is not the time for "Good Job!" 

She is such a cheerleader! She yells, "Kick it up Pumas!" from the side lines. She doesn't stop moving her mouth...ever!

Molly came home from School last week and informed me one of her friends got an American Girl Doll from the Tooth Fairy! YES, the Tooth Fairy brings $100 Dolls these days!!!! Where was this Fairy when I was a kid!?! Why can't she slide a $5 bill under the pillow and the parents put the doll next to her with a note..."Way to loose that tooth!" How am I suppose to explain that our fairy doesn't have the budget, and if she did she doesn't want to use it for a teeny disgusting tooth. She is saving it for Christmas!
I fell asleep with Austin during his nap. It was that kind of sleep that hits you hard, the drool is immediate and there is no dreaming, just deep sleep. It lasted about 20 minutes and I felt a tap on my shoulder. Molly was gesturing for me to come out of the room. I get out in the hallway and she starts talking nonstop..."I was counting my money and I have $132 and Sage cost $110 and I have enough to buy Sage Mom, I have enough money (add high pitch voice and a shrill screech of excitement). I am still half out of it..."did you wake me up to tell me this? Who is Sage?" On the counter laid out is the current American Girl Doll magazine, quarters stacked in piles of 4, and some cash, as well as a post it note with 67+15=132. I was not fully awake, so I wasn't  clear headed, but I could do the math. "Molly, you need to add those numbers up again." She got all nervous and I wrote 82 on her note. "You need $28." Cue the whine, "that is a lot of money, how will I get that much money?" Me, "you can do the chore list I have put together that you don't want to do...you can make $5 week and it will only take you a month to have enough for Sage." Cue the whine, "that is too long. The chores are too hard. I don't want to do chores." (the chore list has 'fill the napkin holder on kitchen table, make sure each bathroom has toilet paper, pick up shoes on laundry room floor...very difficult!)  
Funny thing is she went outside and cued the crying with her dad. When she said something that night about me ordering Sage I ignored it. I asked Don what he told Molly, "I said I would give her $28." Me, "What?! This is a great teaching moment!" Don, "She came to me crying like I'd just ran over her new puppy. I couldn't say No!" I laughed in my head and decided to wait and see if I get asked by Molly and told by Don to order Sage! 

2nd Grade Music Program
The Lean Green Air Machine called for sunglasses.
She practiced her "game face" in the mirror at home. I told her there was no way she wouldn't be able to smile! I was right, she tried really hard to have a serious face!

I attended Molly's program alone. Don was out of town and I didn't see the point in going if I had to deal with Austin and Heidi. I saved myself any embarrassment and asked my 11 and 13 year old nieces to come over. I was going to be gone a hour. (I mentioned earlier Austin stopped going #2 on the toilet). During the program my phone starts vibrating. I answer it, listen to Grant ask me if Kate should clean Austin? He pooped on the floor. I cup my hand over my mouth and whisper to him to put Kate on the phone! I was on the phone about 22 seconds. I was the first person out of the bleachers and in the classroom to pick up my kid. On the way to the car I tell Molly, "I'm sorry we had to rush out of there. Kate called and Austin pooped his pants." "I saw you on the phone Mom. You were trying to hide it, but I thought something must have happened with Heidi or Austin!" Molly misses nothing!

Grant lost his first tooth. The boy has been waiting all School year. His permanent tooth wasn't so patient and started to work it's way behind the loose tooth. He started complaining about it hurting and so I took him to the dentist. When I told him I called and made an appointment he had the same excitement after I've made a playdate with a friend. He was telling everyone he was getting his tooth pulled! It really wasn't that loose, but the dentist put some numbing cream on it and worked it out. The boy flinched once and out it came. His pain tolerance astounds me! He left a seashell, the tooth fairy toy from McDonalds (Rise of the Guardians movie), his tooth, and a note that says "this is for you" next to his pillow! "Why are you giving her a seashell?" Grant, "Cause I have two of them." 

My minivan has joined right into the crazy of my family. It seems to be eating dog food, or someone pulled an annoying prank and dumped dog food into my air vents? We have no idea what is happening, but when the a/c blows it smells like dog food. There are dog food pieces on the floor of the passenger side floor. I clean them up and a few days later...more pieces appear! The other day Don texted me...'when I opened the glove box dog food fell on the floor'. WEIRD! Don swears he put the dog food bag in the very back. He seems to think Austin went out to the garage, filled a cup full of our dog's food, opened the van door, and poured the food into the vents!!!! Even Austin couldn't pull that off! Too bad my brand new car smell is gone and my brand new minivan is no longer new after 4 months. Nothing stays nice for long when you have kids, maybe I should add...without a lot of work!