Fear

I'm sure I can't be the only mother that sometimes thinks about selling everything. I'd take the money and go buy a remote farm in Wyoming, homeschool my kids, and not have internet access. I would be able to protect my family and keep my children's innocence protected longer than the 2nd grade.

I want to gather money and hire a Security Guard that would make sure every single person is searched before walking into the School. I want a security camera on every rooftop corner, and alarms that sound when doors are left ajar, and metal detectors, and bullet proof glass installed. Actually, I'd like to stand up there for the 7 hours my kids are in the building and beat the "crap" out of any person who even acts like an idiot within a 1 block radius of the building.
I already get nervous sending my daughter off to a sleepover and I worry about the "loner" neighbor boy who Grant hollers "hello" to as the kid walks home (what if he decides to go crazy one day and I live next door to him).

When I drop my kids off at a school that is filled with loving teachers, an attentive Principal, and involved parents I don't for a minute think about praying that some nut doesn't go on a rampage that day. In light of the tragedy in Newtown, CT we now have another thing to worry about as parents.

We sat down and talked with the kids tonight about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday December 14th. I told them there was something we needed tell them, but it was something we didn't want to have to share with them...
It is the next day as I type this...I wish I hadn't told them. I wish I would have kept them home from School this week. Then when they went back after break it would have all blown over. Right now I have fear that I said the wrong thing, that I said too much. Don assures me it is fine. That knowing the personalities of our little people they needed to not hear it first at School from a classmate.  Grant seems to wrestle with being angry and heartbroken. His anger is directed at me, but then he just cried in my arms for the children in heaven now. Molly's prayer last night was all about the parents and siblings of the kids gone. Praying that her school would be safe.

Dark, dark tragedies have been apart of our World since Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel. We were reminded at church yesterday that with the arrival of baby Jesus came the mass massacre of all baby boys 2 years old and under by King Herod. With the celebration of our Savior Jesus comes the darkness of knowing mother's wept for their babies. Evil exist.

We ended our conversation with the kids reminding them of all we have to be thankful for...our awesome School and teachers. The fact this didn't happen in our district. When we are afraid and we feel alone that God is always with us. That is even hard for me to understand sometimes, but I know turning our thoughts to things that our good is one way to remind us God gives...it is the world that takes away.

There is a song I sing to my kids, we often sing it at church.
Water you turned into wine. Opened the eyes of the blind. There is no one like you. None like you.
Into the darkness you shine. Out of the ashes you rise. There is no one like you. None like you.
Our God is greater, Our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
Our God is healer, awesome in power, Our God. 

If our God is for us then who could ever stop us.
If our God is with us then what can stand against us.
written by: Chris Tomlin

my 1st grader and 2nd grader